How Do You Create a Sacred Space in Play Therapy for Healing?

There’s a concept I return to often in my work as a play therapist: the wounded healer.

I first encountered it during a sand tray training with the amazing Dr. Dee Preston-Dillon. Her depth and wisdom stuck with me. She spoke of the wounded healer with such compassion and resilience—framing it not as a flaw but as a gift. That training, and the personal work I was doing at the time, helped me see how deeply our own healing journeys shape the way we hold space for others.

Defining the Play Therapist as Wounded Healer

According to Google AI, “A wounded healer is someone who uses their own painful experiences to help others.” The term was coined by psychologist Carl Jung, who introduced the Wounded Healer Archetype to describe those who, through their own journey of pain and transformation, gain unique insight and capacity to support others.

As play therapists, this archetype resonates deeply. Many of us were drawn to the field not just by interest but by lived experiences that have shaped us, humbled us, and prepared us to walk with others on their paths to healing.

Characteristics of the Wounded Healer

A wounded healer isn’t defined by their pain, but by how they’ve integrated it into their capacity to help others. Key characteristics include:

Empathy: We are able to feel with our clients in a powerful, connected way.
Insight: Our own healing gives us perspective, intuition, and emotional wisdom.
Resourcefulness: We see experiences—especially the painful ones—as fertile ground for growth.
Listening: We don’t just hear. We deeply listen—between the lines, through the play, and within silence.
Acceptance: We welcome clients as they are, without trying to fix or correct.

Through these attributes, we develop what is often called the authentic use of self—a powerful ability to connect with clients and caregivers not from perfection, but from honesty, congruence, and compassionate presence. It’s this self-awareness that helps us say, with everything we do: You’re not alone. You’re not being judged. You are seen, heard, and held.

Holding a Sacred Space for Healing

So how do wounded healers create the conditions for deep therapeutic work? According to Google AI, holding sacred space means “creating a safe, confidential environment where the client can openly share their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment.”

In play therapy, this sacred space becomes the free and protected space where healing unfolds. Key components of this space include:

Unconditional positive regard: Full acceptance of the client, wherever they are.
Active listening: Attuning to both what is said and what is expressed in play, tone, and behavior.
Empathy and compassion: Showing we “get it” not just intellectually, but emotionally.
Non-judgment: Letting go of the urge to label or correct.
Confidentiality: Honoring the sacredness of what is shared—within the clear boundaries of safety and mandated reporting.

It’s within this protected space that children and families can truly exhale and begin to process the complexities of their stories.

Authenticity With Boundaries

Here’s the delicate dance: We bring our whole selves to the playroom—but we do so with professional boundaries and self-awareness.

To remain effective, we must:

Recognize when we’re triggered or operating from our own wounds
Prioritize self-care, including spiritual practices, rest, solitude, time in nature, or supportive relationships
Avoid self-disclosure that’s not clearly in service of the client’s healing
Respect the client’s spiritual journey even if it differs from our own

Being authentic doesn’t mean being unfiltered. It means staying grounded in our own growth so we can offer a healing presence without shifting the focus away from the client.

Honoring Our Journey While Holding Theirs

One of the most meaningful challenges in play therapy is holding space for a child’s healing journey while honoring our own. It means navigating complex dynamics like:

A child exploring gender identity within a deeply spiritual or traditional family
A child requesting space for their own spiritual practices in session
Families processing religious trauma, where spiritual beliefs have caused pain rather than healing

In each case, we are called to respect the individuality of our clients. We must offer a space where children feel free to explore, express, question, and discover—without pressure, persuasion, or judgment.

Our job is not to steer them, but to walk beside them with presence, patience, and professionalism.

The Role of Self-Care

When we get crispy fried—and let’s be honest, we all do—we need to pause and refill. Whether that’s through spiritual practice, nature, family, or just taking a breath, we must tend to ourselves so we can show up with authenticity and presence. Self-disclosure? Only if it serves the client. And even then, we ask: Is it necessary? Will it help them? Or is it more about soothing ourselves? We honor our healing by not making it the center of the room—but letting it quietly guide our presence.

Final Thoughts

To be a wounded healer is not to be broken. It’s to be real. To know pain and still show up with love. To have walked through darkness and carry a light for others. As play therapists, we have the honor of holding sacred space where children and families can begin to heal. Not because we’re perfect—but because we are present, authentic, and grounded in empathy. And if we can help one family heal, we help strengthen a whole community. That is sacred work.

Want to Go Deeper?

If you’re ready to deepen your skills and become a more confident, connected play therapist, I invite you to join Play Therapy Academy. 👉 Learn more or schedule a call at rhplaytherapytraining.com

Categories: : Play Therapy, Play Therapy Academy, Podcast, Sand Tray Therapy, Self care, Trauma