How to Help Bereaved Children in Play Therapy

Grief is a universal experience, but for children, it can manifest in unique ways that differ vastly from adults. Play therapy provides a safe, effective approach for helping children navigate the complex emotions of loss. In a recent conversation with Leanna Lowenstein, renowned play therapist and author, we explored critical strategies for supporting bereaved children and their families.

Understanding Grief in Children

Children process grief differently, influenced by their age, developmental stage, and cultural background. Leanna emphasized the importance of normalizing grief for children by using straightforward language and creating a safe space for them to express their emotions.

As she put it, “We live in a death-phobic society,” which can make it challenging for children and families to openly discuss loss. A key takeaway? Therapists must model openness and use the “D-words” like “death” and “dying” to reduce fear and stigma.

Incorporating Families and Cultural Sensitivity

Bereaved children often face added challenges if their caregivers are also grieving. A family-centered approach is critical. Engaging caregivers ensures children have the support they need, even at home. Therapists should:

Ask caregivers about cultural and spiritual beliefs to respect traditions and adapt interventions.
Share plans and activities with caregivers, allowing them to contribute and co-create therapeutic tools. For instance, therapists might email a game or activity in advance for caregiver input.
Work with the entire family when appropriate, fostering shared grief processing and support.

Therapeutic Activities to Address Grief

Leanna shared several innovative strategies to help children process grief:

The Feel Better Bag:
A decorated bag filled with tools to teach coping strategies such as deep breathing or self-talk. Children receive one item per session, reinforcing their ability to manage overwhelming emotions.
Learning About Death Card Game:
This game helps children understand complex topics like what death means, the concept of guilt, or what happens during a funeral. Questions can be tailored to the family's beliefs or specific types of losses, such as overdose or suicide.
JP’s Letter:
A fictional letter from a child who has also experienced a loss, designed to normalize and validate feelings. Versions are available for different situations, including suicide or homicide, helping children feel less alone.
Ambivalence Activity:
Children create a paper cutout and write on one side what they liked about the deceased person and on the other side what they didn’t like. This activity helps children navigate mixed emotions, especially in cases involving trauma or complicated relationships.

Balancing Assessment and Intervention

A key point Leanna raised was integrating assessment and intervention from the start. Activities like the Feel Better Bag serve both as a way to gather information and to offer immediate support. Using play-based assessment techniques allows therapists to simultaneously understand and validate a child’s experience.

Supporting Therapists: Resources and Training

Leanna highlighted the importance of continuous learning. Whether you're a new play therapist or seasoned professional, her books—such as Corey Helps Children Cope with Grief and Creative Interventions for Bereaved Children—provide valuable tools. She also offers a range of online trainings on topics like school refusal and trauma-focused CBT.

Key Takeaways

Be direct yet sensitive when discussing death, and use age-appropriate, culturally informed interventions.
Engage caregivers as therapeutic allies, ensuring they feel empowered and supported.
Use creative, play-based activities to make grief less intimidating for children.
Incorporate family sessions, when possible, to encourage collective healing.
Remember, grief has no rules. Normalize each individual’s unique grieving process.

By combining compassionate communication, cultural respect, and innovative play therapy strategies, therapists can help children and families navigate the complexities of loss and find a path toward healing.

Explore More from Leanna Lowenstein

Leanna Lowenstein offers a wealth of resources for therapists working with children and families. Her books, including Corey Helps Children Cope with Grief and Creative Interventions for Bereaved Children, provide actionable tools and strategies for grief therapy. Visit her website at www.leannalowenstein.com to explore her books, free resources, and upcoming trainings. Don’t miss her upcoming workshops, including a deep dive into bereavement therapy. Sign up for her newsletter for exclusive content and discounts on her publications.

Categories: : Play Therapy, Podcast, Trauma