How to Use AutPlay Therapy with Neurodivergent Kids
Cathi Spooner 
Sometimes I think about what it must feel like for neurodivergent kids trying to navigate a world that wasn’t designed for them. I picture them like they’re behind the wheel of a car—trying to drive—but the signals are unfamiliar, the other cars respond in confusing ways, and no one seems to understand how their car operates. It’s disorienting. Frustrating. And exhausting.
In this week’s episode of Next Level Play Therapy, I had the absolute pleasure of talking with Dr. Robert Jason Grant, founder of AutPlay Therapy, about what it really means to offer neurodiversity-affirming care in the play therapy room—and why it matters so much.
Moving Beyond the "Fix-It" Mentality
One of the things I appreciate most about Robert’s approach is how clearly he names the harm that can come from seeing neurodivergent kids through a “medical model” lens. When we treat differences as deficits, we send the message—intentionally or not—that something about the child needs to be fixed.
But as Robert shared, behavior is often adaptive. These kids are not broken. They’re responding to a world that doesn’t always accommodate their needs. And our job as play therapists isn’t to mold them into something they’re not—it’s to understand who they are, how they experience the world, and how we can support them in navigating it on their terms.
The Power of Connection and Co-Regulation
So many of us were trained to jump into skill-building—coping tools, social skills, executive functioning tasks. But Robert reminded me (and I hope reminded you, too) that regulation doesn’t happen without connection.
Neurodivergent children may not always have access to language when they’re overwhelmed. They may shut down, melt down, or withdraw—and what they need most in those moments is not a strategy. They need a person. Someone who sees them, meets them where they are, and helps them co-regulate back into safety.
Affirming Identity Builds Resilience
I also loved when Robert talked about the messages kids internalize over time—especially in school environments that don’t understand how their brains work. Imagine constantly being told, through redirections and punishments and subtle social cues, that just being you is wrong.
That’s where identity-affirming therapy becomes so powerful. When we create spaces where neurodivergent kids are seen, accepted, and celebrated for who they are, we’re not just supporting behavior—we’re helping them build self-worth. And as we both agreed during the episode, that’s foundational for mental health and long-term resilience.
Caregivers Are the Cornerstone
We also talked about the role of caregivers in supporting neurodivergent kids—and I couldn’t agree more with Robert’s perspective. Kids don’t heal in a vacuum. They live in systems. And if we’re not supporting the caregivers, we’re missing half the picture.
Whether it’s helping parents understand sensory processing, reduce shame, or feel empowered as their child’s advocate, I see it as a core part of the work we do as play therapists. Caregivers are often managing multiple services—OT, speech, counseling, school meetings—and showing up exhausted. One of the most powerful things we can do is be the person who gets it, so they don’t have to explain or justify every step of the journey.
So What Now? How to Grow in This Area
If this episode left you feeling inspired (or maybe a little overwhelmed), here are a few next steps you can take:
🧠 Learn more about AutPlay Therapy
Robert’s work is a fantastic resource. You can explore training and consultation opportunities at AutPlayTherapy.com. Whether you're new to this approach or looking to deepen your knowledge, his framework offers a practical and affirming roadmap.
📘 Revisit how you conceptualize your cases
If you’ve ever wondered how to integrate attachment theory, neurobiology, and developmental trauma into your clinical lens, check out my course Getting Grounded in Case Conceptualization. It’s designed to help you move beyond surface-level diagnoses and create rich, dynamic formulations that support real change.
👨👩👧👦 Integrate caregivers intentionally
If you haven’t already, consider building regular caregiver sessions or check-ins into your play therapy process. Supporting the system is how we help kids thrive—especially those who are neurodivergent.
Final Thoughts
If I could sum up this conversation in one sentence, it would be this:
Neurodivergent kids don’t need to be fixed—they need to be supported, affirmed, and understood.
And as play therapists, we are uniquely equipped to offer that.
Thanks again to Dr. Robert Jason Grant for this rich and thoughtful conversation. Be sure to visit his site for more learning opportunities, and if this episode resonated with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Let’s keep growing together.
Categories: : Neurodiversity, Play Therapy, Podcast, Supervision
