More Years of Experience Won't Fix What's Actually Making You Doubt Yourself as a Play Therapist
Cathi Spooner 
Why experience alone won't eliminate self-doubt—and how community and consultation help play therapists grow with confidence.
Why confidence doesn't come from more time—it comes from the right kind of support
If you've ever found yourself thinking, "Once I have a few more years of experience, I'll finally feel confident as a play therapist," you're not alone.
It's one of the most common beliefs I hear from play therapists, whether they're just starting out or have been in the field for years.
The assumption seems logical. In almost every profession, more time leads to greater confidence. The longer you do something, the better you become.
And while experience certainly matters, I've learned something after nearly 35 years of working with children, adolescents, and families—and after mentoring therapists through both Play Therapy Academy and Play Therapy Elevation Circle:
Experience alone doesn't eliminate self-doubt.
I've met incredibly talented play therapists with ten, fifteen, even twenty years of experience who still question their clinical decisions after difficult sessions. They still worry before parent meetings. They still wonder if they're helping their clients enough.
The problem isn't a lack of experience.
The problem is trying to gain confidence in isolation.
The Myth That Keeps Play Therapists Stuck
Most of us quietly believe something like this:
"If I just keep working, eventually I'll stop second-guessing myself."
"One day I'll finally feel like I know what I'm doing."
"I just need more years under my belt."
I understand why we think that way.
Training gives us knowledge.
Experience gives us opportunities to practice.
Both are essential.
But if more time alone created confidence, then every experienced play therapist would feel completely secure in every session.
That simply isn't what I see.
Even after decades in this profession, I still encounter complex cases that challenge me. I still reflect on difficult sessions. I still appreciate having trusted colleagues to think through challenging clinical situations with me.
Confidence isn't about reaching some magical number of years.
It's about how you grow during those years.
Why Experience Isn't Enough
Think about other professions where people develop expertise.
Surgeons don't become exceptional simply by performing more operations.
They review cases.
They consult with colleagues.
They receive feedback.
Professional athletes don't improve by practicing alone forever.
They have coaches.
Researchers submit their work for peer review.
Every profession that values excellence understands one simple truth:
Growth happens through feedback, not isolation.
Yet many play therapists spend years trying to figure everything out alone.
They're often the only child therapist in their agency.
The only play therapist in the building.
Or they're surrounded by well-meaning colleagues who primarily work with adults and don't fully understand the play therapy process.
The advice they receive often sounds familiar:
"Just pull out a game."
"Use an art activity."
"Get them talking."
While those suggestions are usually offered with good intentions, they aren't grounded in play therapy theory or case conceptualization.
As a result, many therapists continue accumulating experience—but not necessarily confidence.
Isolation Fuels Self-Doubt
One of the biggest surprises I've discovered through years of consultation is this:
The therapists who doubt themselves the most are often some of the strongest clinicians.
They have excellent instincts.
They care deeply about their clients.
They think carefully about every clinical decision.
What they don't have is someone helping them process those decisions.
Mental health professionals understand the impact isolation has on clients.
When people become isolated, anxiety often increases.
Depression deepens.
Negative thinking becomes louder because there isn't anyone helping challenge those thoughts.
The same thing happens professionally.
When you're carrying difficult cases entirely on your own, your internal dialogue starts sounding like this:
- "Maybe I missed something."
- "Maybe I'm not good enough."
- "Maybe another therapist could help this child better than I can."
Without supportive colleagues who understand play therapy, those thoughts often go unchallenged.
Deliberate Practice Builds Confidence
Learning science has a term called deliberate practice.
The concept is simple.
People don't improve by simply repeating the same task over and over.
They improve by:
- Practicing
- Receiving meaningful feedback
- Making adjustments
- Practicing again
That feedback loop is where confidence develops.
This is exactly what I see during consultation meetings.
Whether we're reviewing a session, discussing a challenging family, examining a sand tray, or exploring artwork created during therapy, the real growth happens through collaborative reflection.
Together we ask questions like:
- What's happening beneath the behavior?
- What themes are emerging?
- What does your theoretical model suggest?
- Where are we in the play therapy process?
- What intervention best fits the child's needs right now?
Sometimes a therapist receives one simple insight that completely changes how they view the case.
Sometimes they realize they were actually making excellent clinical decisions all along.
That kind of growth rarely happens in isolation.
Confidence Comes from Community
One of my favorite moments in both Play Therapy Academy and Play Therapy Elevation Circle is watching a therapist realize they're not alone.
Someone presents a difficult case.
Another therapist says,
"I've experienced something similar."
Someone else offers an observation nobody had considered.
The conversation expands everyone's thinking.
Instead of spending weeks searching Google, reading books, or wondering if they're failing their client, therapists leave with clarity, practical next steps, and renewed confidence.
That doesn't happen because someone handed them the "right answer."
It happens because they had people walking alongside them.
Stop Waiting for Confidence to Arrive
If you're waiting for confidence to magically appear after another year—or another five years—you may be waiting much longer than necessary.
The therapists I see grow the fastest aren't necessarily the ones with the most experience.
They're the ones who consistently seek support.
They ask questions.
They remain curious.
They welcome feedback.
They intentionally surround themselves with other play therapists who understand the complexity of this work.
Instead of accumulating isolated experience, they accumulate supported experience.
That's what sharpens clinical thinking.
That's what strengthens decision-making.
And that's what gradually replaces self-doubt with confidence.
You Don't Have to Figure It Out Alone
If this resonates with you, I want to encourage you not to mistake isolation for professional growth.
Experience matters.
Training matters.
Books matter.
But they're only part of the equation.
The missing piece for many play therapists is having a community that understands the unique challenges of this work.
A place where you can ask questions without judgment.
A place where you can bring difficult cases.
A place where you can continue developing your skills while being supported by therapists who truly understand play therapy.
Ready to Grow with Support?
If you're looking for in-depth clinical consultation, structured supervision, and advanced skill development, Play Therapy Academy is designed to help therapists confidently apply their play therapy model across every stage of treatment. Through twice-monthly consultation, training, and community, you'll strengthen your clinical decision-making while developing the competencies needed to become a more confident play therapist.
If you're looking primarily for ongoing support, case consultation, and connection with other play therapists, Play Therapy Elevation CIRCLE provides a welcoming community where you can participate in monthly consultation meetings, book club discussions, mini trainings, and weekly Tuesday Tips. Enrollment opens periodically, and joining the waitlist is the best way to be notified when doors reopen.
If you're not sure which option is the best fit, schedule a 30-minute video call. Together, we can discuss your goals and determine whether Play Therapy Academy or Play Therapy Elevation Circle will best support your next step as a play therapist.
Categories: : Community, Play Therapy Academy, Play Therapy Elevation Circle, Podcast, Supervision
