The #1 Mistake Play Therapists Make on Parent Calls

Learn the three-step framework that helps play therapists navigate difficult parent conversations with greater confidence, clarity, and healthy bounda

Three simple shifts that build trust, reduce your stress, and strengthen your work with families

If you've worked with children or adolescents for any length of time, you already know something to be true:

You aren't just working with children.

You're working with parents.

And if you're working with parents, you've probably received that phone call.

The one where a parent is overwhelmed because their child has had multiple meltdowns this week. The one where they're desperate for answers, wondering if therapy is working, or telling you another professional has questioned whether play therapy is helping.

Those calls can leave even experienced play therapists feeling anxious, defensive, or like they need to solve everything immediately.

Early in my career, I used to believe that was exactly what I was supposed to do.

Now I know better.

One of the biggest mistakes play therapists make during parent phone calls is believing the purpose of the call is to fix the problem.

It isn't.

Why Parent Phone Calls Feel So Stressful

When a parent calls in crisis, it's easy to feel like you're being evaluated.

You may hear statements like:

"My doctor says play therapy isn't working."
"Our pediatrician thinks we should try something else."
"Nothing seems to be getting better."

Those comments can feel discouraging.

Sometimes they even trigger self-doubt or imposter syndrome.

Your immediate instinct may be to explain your treatment approach, defend play therapy, or start brainstorming solutions on the spot.

The problem is that none of those responses actually address what the parent needs most in that moment.

Parents usually aren't calling because they expect you to magically solve everything in five minutes.

They're calling because they're scared.

They're overwhelmed.

And they need someone who can help them feel supported.

That realization completely changed how I approach parent phone calls.

Step One: Regulate Yourself Before You Respond

Before you say anything, pause.

Take a breath.

Remind yourself:

This phone call is not for fixing the problem.

It's for helping parents feel heard.

As play therapists, we spend a great deal of time teaching parents about co-regulation with their children.

The same principle applies here.

Parents often call while they're emotionally dysregulated.

If I become anxious too, neither of us can think clearly.

Instead, I remind myself:

"I'm the therapist. They're scared. I can help hold this moment."

That small mindset shift changes everything.

Instead of feeling pressure to solve the crisis immediately, I can stay present, listen carefully, and begin creating emotional safety.

Step Two: Validate Before You Explain

This is probably the step I see therapists skip most often.

Because we're trained to solve problems, we naturally want to jump into solutions.

But parents rarely feel understood when we rush into advice.

Validation comes first.

That doesn't mean agreeing with everything they're saying.

It means acknowledging their experience.

I might say something like:

"It sounds like this has been a really difficult week for your family."

Or:

"I can hear how worried you are. Thank you for letting me know what's been happening."

When parents feel heard, their nervous system begins to settle.

Only then are they ready to have a productive conversation.

Step Three: Schedule the Parent Consultation

This may surprise newer therapists.

I don't try to solve complex situations during an unexpected phone call.

Instead, I help parents understand that what they're describing deserves dedicated time and attention.

I might say:

"I'm really glad you called and shared this with me. This is an important conversation, and I'd like us to have enough time to really think it through together. Let's schedule a parent consultation so we can explore what's happening and come up with a plan."

This approach accomplishes several important things.

It reassures parents that I'm taking their concerns seriously.

It establishes healthy professional boundaries.

And it prevents me from unintentionally providing lengthy therapy between sessions.

Most importantly, it creates space for thoughtful clinical decision-making instead of reactive problem-solving.

You Don't Have to Have All the Answers Immediately

One of the biggest fears therapists carry is believing we should always know exactly what's happening.

The truth is, we often don't.

Sometimes parents report behaviors they're seeing at home that I haven't observed in the playroom.

Other times I've noticed patterns developing, but I haven't fully understood them yet.

Both situations are perfectly normal.

Parents don't need me to pretend I have every answer during an unexpected phone call.

They need confidence that I'm paying attention, thinking clinically, and committed to figuring it out with them.

That confidence comes from honesty, not perfection.

I often say something like:

"I've been noticing some of these patterns as well, and this information is really helpful. Let's take time to look at the bigger picture together."

That response builds far more trust than trying to provide instant solutions.

Set Expectations Early

One strategy that has saved me countless hours—and prevented burnout—is setting expectations from the very beginning of treatment.

During the initial parent meeting, I explain:

How parents can contact me
When phone calls are appropriate
How emergencies are handled
When we'll schedule parent consultations
What communication between sessions looks like

Clear expectations reduce anxiety for everyone.

Parents know they'll receive support.

I know my boundaries remain healthy.

And together we create a process that supports the child's treatment rather than reacting to every crisis.

Supporting Parents Is Part of Supporting Children

Many play therapists tell me they wish they could "just work with the kids."

I understand that feeling.

Parent work can feel intimidating.

But over the years I've learned something important:

Children rarely make lasting progress without caregiver involvement.

Parents are the therapeutic agents of change outside the playroom.

Helping them feel supported, understood, and equipped isn't separate from play therapy.

It's an essential part of it.

When we stop viewing parent phone calls as moments where we have to prove ourselves and instead see them as opportunities to strengthen the therapeutic partnership, those conversations become far less stressful.

You Don't Have to Navigate Parent Conversations Alone

If parent phone calls leave you feeling anxious or second-guessing yourself, you're not alone.

These situations come up regularly in both Play Therapy Academy and Play Therapy Elevation Circle. Together, we discuss challenging parent interactions, explore what's happening beneath the surface, strengthen case conceptualization, and develop practical strategies for navigating difficult conversations with confidence.

If you're looking for advanced skill development, structured consultation, and support in applying your play therapy model, Play Therapy Academy offers in-depth training and mentorship.

If you're looking for ongoing consultation, community, and encouragement from other play therapists who understand this work, Play Therapy Elevation CIRCLE provides monthly consultation, book club discussions, and clinical support in a collaborative environment.

If you're unsure which option is right for you, schedule a 30-minute video call. We can discuss your goals and determine which path best fits your current stage of professional growth.

Categories: : Community, Play Therapy Academy, Play Therapy Elevation Circle, Podcast, Role of parents, Supervision