After returning from the Association for Play Therapy Annual Conference, I was reminded of a critical truth: traditional play therapy approaches often miss vital opportunities for deeper healing—especially when parent involvement is reduced to updates alone.
This week's conversation digs into that gap and offers a new way forward for therapists who find themselves stuck, wondering why progress in play therapy seems stalled even when they're “doing everything right.”
Many of us were trained in a model where individual play therapy is the gold standard. We meet with children once a week, create a safe, protected space for expression, and occasionally update or check in with parents—either in brief sessions or through texts and emails.
But here’s the problem: children don’t exist in a vacuum.
That once-a-week session, while valuable, doesn’t account for the web of relationships and environmental stressors children live in. When things start to stall in therapy, and parents say, “That suggestion didn’t work,” or “That strategy doesn’t help my child,” it's often because we’re missing out on the dynamics unfolding in real time between children and their caregivers.
When we rely only on parent updates, we’re working from secondhand information—filtered through lenses shaped by a parent’s own history, beliefs, and experiences. This is no fault of the parent—it’s just human nature. But it means we might miss the actual interaction patterns that are keeping progress stuck.
Seeing parent-child or sibling dynamics in session allows us, as therapists, to apply our clinical skills in real time—not just to understand the "what," but the "why" behind a child's behavior.
When you bring family members into play therapy, it’s not about doing individual therapy with bystanders. It’s about shifting to a family systems mindset, where each person plays a role in the healing process. In this model, the child is still your client, but you're engaging their support system—parents, siblings—as active participants in the therapeutic process.
This allows parents to:
Practice co-regulation strategies in session
Strengthen attachment through supported play
Build confidence as the therapeutic agents of change
And sometimes, the missing piece isn’t just with parents—it’s between siblings. Sibling-only sessions, especially in high-conflict families or split households, can reveal incredible opportunities for support, resilience, and connection.
I know bringing parents or siblings into the playroom can feel overwhelming. What if the developmental levels are too different? What if a parent says something unhelpful? What if it just doesn't go how you imagined?
It’s easier to default to what’s comfortable, but that doesn’t always lead to the transformation families are hoping for. We need to ask ourselves: are we choosing convenience over effectiveness?
If we want sustainable, generational change for our clients, we have to step into the discomfort of a new way of working—and equip ourselves with the right tools and models to do so.
If you’ve found yourself stuck, wondering why the play therapy sessions aren’t making the impact they should—this might be the missing piece. Moving from individual sessions + parent updates to an attachment- and systems-informed model can unlock a new level of progress for your clients.
🎓 Want support to learn how to do that?
I teach a full-day training on Attachment-Focused Family Play Therapy, which walks you through my model rooted in attachment, family systems, and neuroscience. It’s designed to help you move from theory to action in each stage of the change process—from the very first session to closure.
Categories: : Attachment-Focused Family Play Therapy, Community, Play Therapy, Play Therapy Academy, Play Therapy Elevation Circle, Play Therapy Model, Podcast, Role of parents