How to Conceptualize the Role of Parents in Play Therapy

If you’ve ever avoided a tough conversation with a parent or caregiver during play therapy, you’re not alone.

Whether you're just starting out or have years of experience, one of the biggest struggles many play therapists face is knowing how to talk to parents about difficult topics—without triggering defensiveness, frustration, or even having them pull their child out of treatment altogether.

This fear is real. But it doesn’t have to stop you from having the conversations that matter most.

Let’s dig into why these conversations are so hard—and what you can do to have them with confidence and compassion.

The Real Reason We Avoid Hard Conversations

When play therapists avoid addressing issues with parents, it’s often not just about protecting the relationship—it’s about protecting ourselves.

➡️ Imposter syndrome kicks in.
➡️ People-pleasing tendencies creep up.
➡️ Fear of being “too much” or “not enough” rises.

We want to be helpful, encouraging, and collaborative. But sometimes, we accommodate too much and compromise our clinical judgment in the process. We want parents to like us—and that desire can unintentionally get in the way of the child’s healing journey.

The Shift: From Pleasing to Leading

What if you thought of your role not just as a therapist—but as a leader and guide?

You're the one who has the clinical training. You’ve done the case conceptualization. You know what needs to happen to support this child. That means you have the responsibility—and the expertise—to help parents understand their part in the healing process.

And if you're feeling unsure, that doesn't mean you're not qualified. It just means you're growing. You’re always going to be learning. But you’re not a fraud. You’re a professional.

Why Expectations Matter More Than Scripts

Before you say a single word to a parent, ask yourself:

What are your expectations for how parents will participate in the therapy process?
And more importantly—why?

Your answers should be grounded in your theoretical framework. For example, if you use a neuroscience and attachment lens, then you likely see parents as key therapeutic agents of change. That changes everything about how you involve them.

When you haven’t clearly defined and communicated these expectations, it’s easy to slide into frustration. You’re chasing them down for a parent meeting. They’re not calling back. You assume they don’t care. But here’s the truth: they can’t meet expectations they never received.

You must lead with clarity—not just empathy.

Three Steps to Having More Effective Parent Conversations

Here’s a breakdown of how to make these conversations easier, more confident, and more aligned with your model:

Step 1: Define the Role of Parents Based on Your Model

Before you ever explain it to a parent, you need to know what their role is in your process. How do you see parents? How does your model conceptualize their involvement?

Write it down. Own it. Let your model be your guidepost.

Step 2: Identify Your Expectations and Why

Once you’ve defined their role, ask yourself:

How do I want parents to be involved?
Will I meet with them regularly? How often?
Will they participate in sessions with the child? When? Why?

And remember—having expectations does not make you rigid. It makes you clear.

Step 3: Communicate It Clearly and Early

Start from the first phone call. Reinforce it again during the intake. And then continue throughout the therapeutic process.

You don’t need a perfectly polished elevator speech. You just need to be grounded in what you believe—and able to share that with confidence.
Some therapists even create a visual handout or a short PowerPoint to make it easier for parents to follow along.

This isn’t about overwhelming parents with jargon—it’s about giving them clarity. You're inviting them into a partnership, not giving them a checklist.

What Happens When You Do This Well?

When you confidently communicate the why behind your expectations, you:

Build more trust with caregivers
Reduce no-shows and communication breakdowns
Help parents feel more empowered and less defensive
Create better long-term outcomes for the child

Most importantly—you stop dreading these conversations. You start showing up with confidence, not fear.

So What Now?

If you’re still feeling unsure how to put this into practice, I’ve got you.

✅ Getting Grounded: Partnering with Parents in Play Therapy
This on-demand course gives you a full roadmap for how to work with parents using a neuroscience and attachment lens. Learn how to conceptualize parents as agents of change, handle high-conflict family situations, and structure your sessions so everyone stays on the same page.

Whether you need support with planning, parent communication, or both—this course will help you stay grounded, intentional, and effective.

Categories: : Case Conceptualization, Imposter Syndrome, Neuroscience of attachment, Play Therapy, Play Therapy Model, Podcast, Role of parents