How To Tell If Clients Are Just Playing in Play Therapy

In the world of play therapy, there’s a moment every therapist faces: watching a child build with blocks or bury toys in the sand tray and wondering, Is this just playing… or is something deeper happening?

The ability to tell the difference between surface-level activity and meaningful therapeutic process is what sets skilled play therapists apart. But here’s the thing—sometimes the line isn’t obvious. And that’s okay.

Let’s talk about how to recognize the shift from “just play” to true healing work, and why your curiosity might be one of your best clinical tools.

Activity vs. Process: What’s Really Going On?

It’s easy to get caught up in the action—what the child is doing in the moment. That’s the activity: the observable play behavior. But underneath that, there may be an emotional process unfolding. That’s the therapeutic process—the invisible, internal work that happens through play.

Maybe a child is repetitively burying the same figurine each week. On the surface, it looks like a simple game. But through your attunement and theoretical lens, you might realize this is a symbolic expression of grief or trauma.

Understanding this difference helps you stay anchored in your role as a co-regulator and witness, not just an activity provider.

When Play Feels Like It’s “Just an Activity”

There are times when the play feels flat or mechanical—when you can sense that the child is going through the motions. You might notice:

Repetitive actions with little emotional variation
No clear emotional shifts or symbolic elements
A sense of disconnection between the child and therapist
Play that feels “stuck” or guarded

This doesn’t mean the session is unproductive. It might just mean the child is still building safety, or needs time before diving into deeper emotional territory. Your presence and patience are still powerful in these moments.

When Play Transforms into Process

You’ll feel it when play crosses into process. The energy in the room shifts. The tone changes. Suddenly, the story unfolding in the dollhouse carries an emotional weight, or a game becomes charged with frustration or joy.

Healing often shows up as:

Emerging themes that evolve over sessions
Symbolic representations of internal struggles
Play that moves toward resolution or repair
A felt sense of connection between you and the child

And yes, your gut instinct matters. As play therapists, we rely on our resonance circuits—our ability to tune into emotional undercurrents and relational cues.

How to Tune In (Even When You’re Not Sure)

It’s completely normal to question yourself mid-session. Instead of rushing to figure it out, try staying in the curiosity:

What might this play be doing for the child?
Is there an emotional undertone I’m sensing?
Is the play shifting, symbolic, or repetitive?
What’s happening between us right now?

Use your model to help decode what you’re seeing. Whether it’s child-centered, Adlerian, or integrative, your theoretical framework gives structure to your observations.

And remember—you don’t have to have the answer in the moment. Sometimes healing is slow and subtle.

When You're in the Gray Area

The most powerful thing you can do when you’re unsure is to stay present. Reflect back what you see in non-directive ways. Track the play arc across sessions, not just isolated moments. And most of all—resist the urge to rush interpretation.

A child burying a toy for five sessions in a row may be practicing regulation, not symbolism. And that’s still valuable. Sometimes stillness, avoidance, or repetitive play is the groundwork that makes healing possible.

Why It All Matters

Recognizing the difference between activity and process helps you:

Stay grounded in your clinical model
Build confidence in your observations
Slow down and trust the relationship
Honor the child’s pace and capacity

Most importantly, it reminds you that you don’t have to know everything in the moment. Play therapy is relational work, and that means the healing unfolds between the child and the therapist—often in ways that defy neat interpretation.

Ready to Build Confidence in the Playroom?

If you’re ready to go deeper into your clinical skills—and stop second-guessing yourself in the playroom—join the waitlist for Play Therapy Elevation Circle (pTEC).

It’s a community for play therapists like you who want support applying theory to real-life cases, building confidence in their model, and learning how to trust their instincts.

👉 Click here to join the waitlist now

Categories: : Community, Play Therapy, Play Therapy Elevation Circle, Podcast