Is There a Best Approach for Play Therapy with Traumatized Kids?

Working with children and adolescents who’ve experienced trauma can be overwhelming—especially when you feel the pressure to find the perfect model or intervention. But what if that’s the wrong place to start? Instead of chasing after the next shiny thing on Pinterest or Etsy, the real question we should be asking is: How do we help traumatized children heal through play therapy?

In this blog, I’m diving into what I believe are the foundational pieces to answering that question:

What it really means to define trauma from a neuroscience and attachment perspective
How to make sense of trauma symptoms through case conceptualization
Why choosing a play therapy model that aligns with your values and worldview is essential

Let’s explore how to build a strong theoretical foundation—so you can stop second-guessing yourself and start feeling confident in the change process you’re guiding.

1. Defining Trauma: More Than Just an Event

We often think of trauma as “something bad that happened.” But when we look through a neuroscience and attachment lens, it becomes much more than that.

“An experience of fear and/or pain that doesn’t have the support it needs to be digested and integrated into the flow of our developing brains.”
– Bonnie Badenoch, The Heart of Trauma

Trauma is about the impact—how the nervous system processes (or fails to process) fear, pain, and disconnection. That’s especially important when you’re working with children. Their brains are still developing, so trauma doesn’t just create emotional distress—it literally rewires how they feel safe, connect with others, and regulate themselves.

That’s why it’s so important to ground your understanding of trauma in the developmental context of each child. It’s not about checking off a list of symptoms—it’s about honoring how the nervous system experienced what happened.

2. Explaining Symptoms: A Theoretical Framework for Clarity

Once we define trauma, the next step is explaining the symptoms that show up in your sessions—or the ones caregivers describe. That’s where your play therapy model comes in.

This is your case conceptualization—how you make sense of behaviors like aggression, shutdowns, clinginess, anxiety, or trouble focusing. And here's the thing: your explanation should reflect the theories you believe in.

For me, that means using:

Attachment theory to explore the safety and connection disruptions
Interpersonal neurobiology to understand how trauma gets “stuck” in the nervous system
Polyvagal theory to explain hyperarousal, shutdowns, and regulation challenges
Internal Family Systems (IFS) to conceptualize the fragmented parts children develop in response to pain and fear

When you understand trauma through your theoretical lens, you stop seeing kids as "difficult" and start seeing the adaptations they’ve made to survive. That changes everything.

3. Choosing a Play Therapy Model: Build First, Blend Later

Let’s be honest—jumping from model to model without mastery is like collecting recipes but never learning how to cook. It doesn’t work.

Pick one model. Learn it well. Use it as your GPS in the change process.

Whether it’s Child-Centered Play Therapy, Adlerian, EMDR, or a structured model like SITCAP (Structured Sensory Intervention for Traumatized Children, Adolescents, and Parents), the key is this: it has to align with your professional values and personal beliefs.

Because your play therapy model isn’t just a technique—it’s how you:

Show up in sessions
Understand what’s happening in the play
Decide when and how to intervene
Know whether your client is making progress

Even if you plan to integrate models later, start with a firm foundation. You’ll gain clarity, confidence, and a sense of direction in your work.

Final Thoughts: No “Best” Model—Just the Right Fit for You and Your Clients

There’s no magic bullet play therapy model for trauma. But there is a powerful question to ask:

How do I help my traumatized clients heal through play therapy, using a model I believe in and understand deeply?

Build your foundation, root it in solid theory, and let that guide your interventions—not a trendy activity or the latest download.

And if you’re looking for community and support to do just that? That’s what Play Therapy Elevation CIRCLE is for. You don’t have to figure it all out alone. Join the waitlist here.

Categories: : Attachment-Focused Family Play Therapy, Case Conceptualization, Community, Imposter Syndrome, Neuroscience of attachment, Play Therapy, Play Therapy Academy, Play Therapy Elevation Circle, Play Therapy Model, Podcast