What Are the Top Mistakes Play Therapists Make Working with Parents?

If you’ve ever walked away from a session thinking, “That didn’t go how I wanted,” especially when it comes to parent dynamics… you’re not alone.

Play therapy is powerful—but progress can slow to a crawl when we’re not engaging parents in meaningful, effective ways. From over-accommodating to avoiding hard conversations, even the most seasoned therapists can fall into patterns that stall therapeutic momentum.

The good news? These patterns are fixable—and even preventable.

Let’s walk through three of the most common mistakes therapists make when working with parents, and how to shift into a more grounded, leadership-based approach.

Mistake #1: Accommodating Instead of Empowering

Therapists are wired to help, support, and nurture. But when helping turns into over-accommodating—like making yourself available at all hours, excusing missed sessions repeatedly, or staying silent when boundaries are crossed—you may be enabling rather than empowering.

This behavior is often driven by fear: fear of being seen as “difficult,” fear of the family pulling out of therapy, or fear of conflict. And that fear leads us to prioritize comfort over clinical integrity.

What to do instead: Define clear expectations around your role, the parent’s role, and the child’s role—grounded in your theoretical model. Communicate those expectations early and revisit them often. When you know your boundaries, you empower families to rise into the work with clarity.

Mistake #2: Getting Pulled into the Family Drama

It’s easy to get emotionally entangled in a family’s dynamics—especially when working with high-conflict parents, divorce situations, or children with intense emotional needs.

Sometimes we subtly align with one caregiver. Other times, we internalize blame for the lack of progress. This happens to all of us. What matters is how we respond when we notice it.

What to do instead: Step back. Use your family systems lens. Explore each family member’s perspective to return to clinical neutrality. Your job isn’t to fix the family—it’s to facilitate healing by creating opportunities for insight, growth, and relational repair.

That might involve inviting multiple perspectives into the room. It might mean holding discomfort while the family works through stuck patterns. But it always involves clarity, containment, and compassion.

Mistake #3: Avoiding Instead of Leading

Let’s be honest—most of us dislike conflict. It feels sticky, scary, and exhausting. But if you notice yourself dreading certain families, avoiding topics, or hoping problems will resolve themselves… that’s a signal.

Avoidance creates therapeutic stalls. Growth happens when we lean into discomfort—with empathy and courage.

What to do instead: Learn to lead hard conversations with clarity and compassion. Don’t wait until frustration builds or sessions start to feel aimless. Use your model—whether it’s attachment-focused, neuroscience-informed, or systems-based—to ground you in the why and how of difficult discussions.

When done well, these conversations can create breakthroughs you never expected.

So What Now?

If you’re ready to feel more confident and effective when working with parents, here are a few resources that can help:

Getting Grounded: Partnering with Parents in Play Therapy
Learn how to set clear expectations, work through complex dynamics, and lead with confidence—even when parents are resistant. Includes specific strategies for high-conflict families, building parent partnerships, and avoiding common pitfalls.

Play Therapy Elevation Circle
A monthly membership for support, community, and consultation. Designed for therapists who want to grow without pressure, and stay connected to others doing this meaningful work.

When you grow your confidence, set clear expectations, and embrace your leadership role, you empower families—and transform outcomes for children.

Categories: : Community, Imposter Syndrome, Neuroscience of attachment, Play Therapy, Play Therapy Academy, Play Therapy Elevation Circle, Play Therapy Model, Podcast, Role of parents, Self care